It was all I could do not to stand up and scream: “What are y’all trying to do? Kill each other?”
Cher Mocks Sarah Sanders’ Clothes
What does Cher think the press secretary ought to wear to her job in the West Wing? Sequins, pasties and a thong?
Swearing A Sign Of Smarts? Oh, Hell Yes.
“The health benefits of swearing include increased circulation, elevated endorphins, and an overall sense of calm, control, and well-being.” Psychology Today.
Panic Blamed On Password Problem
When Hawaii pushed out a ballistic missile alert earlier this month, Gov. David Ige knew within two minutes it was a false alarm. But he couldn't hop on Twitter and tell everybody - because he didn't know his password.
Definition Of Terror: Riding Shotgun With A 15-Year-Old
For those of you who have never taught a teenager to drive, words cannot convey the icy sensation that envelops you as trees, cars and pedestrians appear in the road and all you can do is slam your foot uselessly into the floor mat. And scream.
Fashion 2018: Men In Skirts
Now that I’m unemployed, every day is Soft Clothes Day. Another benefit of my current condition.
Voila! We’ve Gone Continental
I desperately want to speak another language. And I’d like it to be French. To that end, I subscribe to the “Talk in French” Twitter feed. Hey, who has time for a class?
Looking For A Summer Internship? Get A Job Instead.
I learned that women who worked full time in the food service industry were some of the most canny observers of human behavior I’d ever meet. They could spot a good tipper as soon as he entered the place, and it had nothing to do with quality of his clothes or accessories.
Listen Up, Freckles.
Happy hump day.
Instead of another rant, how about something different? Here’s a glimpse of Sawyer Grace - the Mississippi mudbug - talking about, well, watch it and see.
Page-Turning Panic Attack
I don’t like to brag, but I earned my first FitBit Hiking Boots award while listening to that book: 35,000 steps in one day. Had blisters the size of biscuits on my feet to prove it, too.
Baby Shaming
Frankly, this couple’s family size is none of her damn business. Or anyone else’s. Especially when the parents are more than capable of supporting their offspring.
I Feel Bad About My House. Thanks HGTV.
A bout of car problems in February introduced me to a must-have called “subway tile,” rectangular ceramic that is necessary to replace all those squares so common in the 1950s.
Does subway tile also come with buskers and beggars? Asking for a friend.
Joys Of Unemployment
Even if I wore dark glasses and a hat, someone would recognize me at the concession stand - one of the mayor’s pals perhaps, or a developer. They’d call my editors and ask if they were aware that I was eating popcorn and watching Tarantino films on company time.
So You Want To Be A Newspaper Columnist
We had ready-made retorts: A litany of all the soul-crushing jobs we’d had on the way to our “cushy” columnist gigs.
It Has To Be One Strike, You're Gone For Those Here Illegally
It was bad enough that Ramos was in the U.S. illegally. Worse was news that he'd been arrested earlier and never asked about his immigration status.
The inconvenient truth is that if Ramos had been unceremoniously tossed out of the country after his first brush with American law enforcement Tessa and Ali would still be alive.
Finley’s Firing. A Sign Of The Apocalypse.
“I became a victim of a left-wing lynching in the most progressive state in the nation.” Denis Finley.
Delicious News for Dogs
My toy poodles eat middle-of-the-road kibble from the supermarket. Not the cheapest stuff - Ol’ Roy, for instance - but nothing I’d be tempted to nibble.
In Those Days, Everyone Fed The Bears In Yellowstone
In a long bear jam, a battalion of bears would amble from car to car looking for handouts.
Home Delivery, Nudity And West Coast Lunacy
Why nude workouts? Supposedly they allow the skin to breathe.