Happy hump day.
Instead of another rant, how about something different? Here’s a glimpse of Sawyer Grace - the Mississippi mudbug - talking about, well, watch it and see.
Page-Turning Panic Attack
I don’t like to brag, but I earned my first FitBit Hiking Boots award while listening to that book: 35,000 steps in one day. Had blisters the size of biscuits on my feet to prove it, too.
Baby Shaming
Frankly, this couple’s family size is none of her damn business. Or anyone else’s. Especially when the parents are more than capable of supporting their offspring.
I Feel Bad About My House. Thanks HGTV.
A bout of car problems in February introduced me to a must-have called “subway tile,” rectangular ceramic that is necessary to replace all those squares so common in the 1950s.
Does subway tile also come with buskers and beggars? Asking for a friend.
Joys Of Unemployment
Even if I wore dark glasses and a hat, someone would recognize me at the concession stand - one of the mayor’s pals perhaps, or a developer. They’d call my editors and ask if they were aware that I was eating popcorn and watching Tarantino films on company time.
So You Want To Be A Newspaper Columnist
We had ready-made retorts: A litany of all the soul-crushing jobs we’d had on the way to our “cushy” columnist gigs.
It Has To Be One Strike, You're Gone For Those Here Illegally
It was bad enough that Ramos was in the U.S. illegally. Worse was news that he'd been arrested earlier and never asked about his immigration status.
The inconvenient truth is that if Ramos had been unceremoniously tossed out of the country after his first brush with American law enforcement Tessa and Ali would still be alive.
Finley’s Firing. A Sign Of The Apocalypse.
“I became a victim of a left-wing lynching in the most progressive state in the nation.” Denis Finley.
Delicious News for Dogs
My toy poodles eat middle-of-the-road kibble from the supermarket. Not the cheapest stuff - Ol’ Roy, for instance - but nothing I’d be tempted to nibble.
In Those Days, Everyone Fed The Bears In Yellowstone
In a long bear jam, a battalion of bears would amble from car to car looking for handouts.
Home Delivery, Nudity And West Coast Lunacy
Why nude workouts? Supposedly they allow the skin to breathe.
No, Southerners Can't Drive In Snow
So, if you've been living in the South for even a few winters, your snow legs are back in Buffalo or Boston. And your driving is as Southern as sweet tea.
Congratulations. Looks like you may not be the best driver in town. In fact, you may be part of the problem.
Southern Snowstorm. Time To Panic.
The same people who will surf in a hurricane and run a marathon in 100-degree heat lose their ability to reason - or drive - once the first flakes fall.
Hashtags and Pussy Hats
Warriors? Please.
Happy New Year From An Outer Banks McMansion
If it hadn’t been for a marathon Monopoly game lasting more than five hours on New Year’s Eve afternoon, I’d have a splendid piece of writing here.
First Month Down
As long as you keep reading, I’ll keep writing.
Home Remedies
“A cold that’s left alone lasts one week. A cold that’s treated by a doctor lasts only seven days. “
No, Melania Trump Doesn’t Hate Trees
Now these “journalists” have gone a step further: They’re trying to portray the First Lady as some kind of tree-chopping harridan.