Dave, the fact that you were hunched over your lunch reading an article on the breakthroughs in electronic watches is a sign that you are a deeply disturbed man.
All in August Antidotes
HE SAID, SHE SAID: Mind If I Measure Your Head?
Hang on ladies, they've found another way for us to feel inadequate.
Is your waistline smaller than your head?
That Hundred Dollar Dilemma
One of my colleagues assured me that this isn't just my bad luck. This happens to everyone and simply proves his theory that mechanical devices can actually tell how much money you have in the bank.
HE SAID, SHE SAID: There's No Hiding In A Swimsuit
Don't be so glum about that flouncy little accessory on your bathing-suit bottoms, Kerry. Count your blessings. Designers, physicists and structural engineers are working overtime to find ways to make women look better in swimsuits.
Remember Summer Camp?
I'd packed exactly 14 pairs of underpants. In a puzzling development, they all came back unworn. They still smelled of Downy. But my son sure didn't.
How's Your Hurricane Box?
Quick. Call the cops. Seems I've been robbed.