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Shoeless No More. TSA Scraps Stupid Rule.

Shoeless No More. TSA Scraps Stupid Rule.

Hallelujah. 

Twenty four years after British terrorist Richard Reid attempted to bring down American Airlines flight 63 from Paris to Miami with an explosive device in his shoe, innocent Americans will once again be allowed to board commercial airliners without the indignity of removing their footwear.

The will be in effect at “certain airports” according to news reports. Apparently shoes remain a danger at others. Who knew?

In 2006, the newly created TSA responded to the shoe bomber by instituting the take-off-your-shoes rule.

Good news for those with foot fetishes. Bad news for the rest of us.

It’s all well and good for those who fly in flip flops. But winter travel, when boots and laces are involved, requires much more effort.

I don’t believe in special treatment for dignitaries. However, in 2008, as I stood behind former Secretary of State Madeleine Albright in a Denver airport security line and watched her bare her bunions it hit me that this was a profoundly useless exercise.

Air travel was no safer because someone in a uniform got to sniff Albright’s pumps.

In fact, TSA admits that in 19 years of forcing people to march barefoot through metal detectors and body scanners not a single suspicious shoe was ever found. 

In 2011, when TSA created the money-grabbing Pre-Check program I coughed up the loot to join mostly to avoid the shoe removal indignity. (Pre-check also has shorter security lines, allowing the privileged ones to keep sweaters and jackets on and leave laptops in carry ons. Worth it.)

If Donald Trump really wants to make life easier for the rumpled masses lining up for cattle call flights, he’ll order the TSA to scrap its stupid 3.5 ounce liquid and gel limit. At the very least they should allow us to carry several quart-sized  Ziplock bags and not limit us to just one.

I could buy a new car with the money I’ve wasted playing Sophie’s choice with my toiletries.These humorless snoops sometimes dig through our carryons as if they’re looking or lice and if they find TWO clear plastic bags they demand that you jettison your favorite shampoo, wrinkle cream or toothpaste.

Arbitrary and nonsensical.

While we’re on the topic, I guarantee that of the gallons of discarded liquids slurped up by TSA each day not one contains a single drop of anything dangerous.

I know, I know. Who knows how many terrorists have had to change their plans due to TSA regulations? 

Still, I’m grateful for the new rule. Shoes can now stay on.

Baby steps.

PS: Richard Reid, 51, is serving three consecutive life sentences plus 100 years without parole at ADX Florence in Colorado.

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