American. And Proud Of It.

I originally wrote this column for The Virginian-Pilot on the 5th anniversary of September 11, 2001.

Oh how we used to laugh at the Americans.

It was back in the early 1980s, when I was part of a small group of "Yanks" living and working in Dublin, Ireland. I'm not proud to admit this, but we found our fellow countrymen a source of endless amusement .

We'd duck into smoky bars at night after work to chuckle about American tourists.

First, there was their unfortunate attire. The gaudy colors. The bright, white tennis shoes. The trench coats accentuating their girths.

Then there was their behavior. The loud voices as they walked four abreast down the narrow sidewalks of Dublin.

We loved it when our Irish co-workers would tell us, "You don't seem American at all."

We took that as a compliment.

It wasn't.

Truth is, I was an American then. I am an American now.

Yet it wasn't until September 11, 2001, that I fully appreciated what that meant.

I learned about being an American as I flipped - for hour after awful hour - among cable news networks.

I stared in stunned silence as New York City firefighters, police officers and rescue workers charged into burning skyscrapers to rescue strangers from certain death. I watched them drag corporate executives and janitors and people of all nationalities to safety.

I saw them coughing and crying helplessly when the towers fell and there was no one left to save.

It was television reporters who rushed through clouds of toxic smoke that day to bring us the story. Their unblinking coverage of the attacks profoundly changed many of us. Forever.

Later, we heard the cell phone conversations between the doomed passengers of United 93 and their loved ones. Those wireless farewells hurt your heart. The bravery of the Americans on board that flight made you proud.

Sleep didn't come easily for most of us five years ago.

We held our children. We prayed for our country. We knew we were at war.

For a brief time, Americans were united. Politics were set aside as we focused on our common enemy. Flags flew everywhere. Members of Congress gathered on the Capitol steps to sing "God Bless America."

It couldn't last.

In the months that followed, political divisions returned. Congress didn't sing anymore; it squabbled.

Some lament that dissonance. I don't.

If we've learned anything about America since Sept. 11 , it's that we are a nation of individuals. We love our country and we look out for each other, but we think for ourselves.

These big anniversary years serve a purpose. They remind us of where we were five years ago. How much we've learned since then.

In 2001, all seemed grim. For a time, we wondered whether we'd ever laugh again.

We should have known better. Americans are optimists who never lose their sense of humor.

When I shake my head in amusement over something uniquely American, these days I find I'm not laughing at someone else.

I'm laughing at myself.