The BIG ONE Is Coming. Maybe.
All week American meteorologists have been vibrating with joy. Sleeves rolled up, laser pointers trembling as they assure us that THE BIG ONE is coming.
To the South!
Every forecast included the words “once in a lifetime” or “historic.”
Southerners were ordered to buy milk, bread and a sled dog.
“I’m talking feet not inches of snow,” one giddy weather guy gushed.
On Tuesday they warned of at least 12 inches of snow in Tidewater - possibly more - declaring there was no doubt that the region would be buried this weekend because “all of the models have come together”.
By Wednesday morning the letdown began. Overnight, those perfect models had shifted north by 200 miles. Snow totals were “adjusted,” “refined” and turned into an ice storm.
Not just any ice storm. A historic once-in-a-lifetime coating of ice that would leave us without power or heat for days if not months.
“An inch of ice is worse than a foot of snow,” they told us with maniacal grins.
So what’s coming?
If history is any predictor, the snowpocalypse will pass us by. We’ll watch the news wistfully as Pennsylvanians and New Yorkers dig out while we try to find the fun in a dreaded “wintry mix.”
You might want to keep an umbrella handy.
We’ve seen this movie before. We fall for the plot line every damn time.
First come the days of panic and wild predictions. Bags of salt are bought. Provisions are laid in. Snow shovels are readied.
In the aftermath of another miss the salt is banished to the garage. Bread stashed in the freezer. And disappointed kids with pristine sleds will get their first lesson in never trusting the experts.
What is it about us common folk that makes us believe that excitable meteorologists know more than the boy next door with a science kit?
I think I know.
Deep down we are all children who believe in magic. We WANT a snow day. We want our world covered in white, the noise and the news blanketed in silence. We want an excuse to turn off the news, put on layers of clothes and go outside to slide down a hill. We want to watch our dogs frolic in the drifts. We want photos of our kids and grandkids with their first snowmen. We want to hunker down at the end of the day in front of a roaring fire and watch snow falling on magnolias.
Will it happen?
Your guess is as good as the experts’.
